LOVE, HOPE, PASSION, DREAMS AND HEALING

When I started this blog I decided not to write about my personal life and my family. What I didn't bargain for was the friendship and the warm, caring blogging community who have made such an impact on my life. I received so many wonderful emails (and comments) after the Synchronicity post about the birds in my garden and my husbands fight against cancer. One of the emails I received said "your post has given me hope" and since so many lives are touched by cancer I decided to add another post along those lines because that is exactly what one needs to get one's mind around something that at first sounds so frightening. Hope.

It's not the first time our family has had to face cancer. Our precious eldest daughter lost her battle with lymphoma at just 16. It's a nightmare we deal with every day ...and though it is not easy we have learned to find ways to make it less painful ....and this is where passion, art and dreams come in.

Our friends, family and even strangers rallied around supporting us through the most devastating time of our lives but a time comes when life goes on and we have to go on for the sake of the people who love us. I can honestly say that Art, my passion, is the reason I didn't go completely insane. It healed me. It still heals me. Every day I would pick up a paint brush and begin, something. Anything that could grip me enough to direct my thoughts away from death and loss. Creating art takes me out of myself and transports me to a place where I focus on colours, textures, ideas and imagination.

My husband has his fishing. He is so passionate about it that he can switch off from the world by merely thinking about it. His passion played an important role in his own healing. Whilst recuperating after chemotherapy he would lie back in bed with his eyes closed, feeling weak and nauseous. Under his hand would be a fishing reel..... and a fishing rod.... and tangled spools of line with hooks. This took a lot of pressure off me because I knew that while he was thinking about fishing he wasn't giving up.

My youngest daughter is passionate about cooking in the style of those humerous TV personalities...Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson and Ainsley Harriett. Hands in, a pinch of this a pinch of that. Her face lights up when she speaks of fresh coriander, pancetta and homemade gnocchi. And yes I now agree that fresh coriander... makes all the difference.

On my noticeboard above my computer I look up at my favorite photograph. It is just a photocopy, but I treasure it. It was taken on Christmas day, only a few days before M started his chemotherapy. He had struggled with pain for a year before a second opinion bought to light the reason beneath his continual pain. He was so thin, grey and frail, I just wanted to hold him close and protect him. Twelve of us gathered that day to support our beloved M. We all learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is that there is nothing so amazing as a family united in the face of adversity. Being a part of that, sharing the love, strength and courage of my family made every moment of the struggle worthwhile.